Tell me....am I a bad father? I don't think I am. But sometimes, when I can't do everything, I feel that way.The above picture is provided weekly by our good friends at BabyCenter.com. I have diligently posted the most up-to-date photo on our computer desktop every week. We have had 36 weeks of a growing fetus and the word, Vagina, staring at us every time we sit down to check our mail.
I am writing this post at work while my extremely sexy, pregnant wife is at the OB getting one of her last ultrasound checkups. The bottom line is.....I am supposed to be there with her. I was there for the initial appointment, and haven't been back since. Partly, because our OB, Dr. Jacques Moritz (who is a famous TV doctor, BTW, and kind of crazy, in a good way), believes in not having many appointments if everything is healthy. So Heather hasn't had many herself. But in the last month of pregnancy, you have weekly appointments. This is a great time to connect with your doctor, and really witness the reality of a fully developed baby, ready to burst out.....I guess slither out would be a better descriptive. To make a long story short, I wasn't able to get away from work....and I feel like a chump of a dad.
Yes, I have been through this routine with two prior children, and Heather is a strong independent mother, but I should be there....to share in the experience.
I massage her feet, I make her drink lots of water and consume enough calories, I take the kids on outings so she can take naps, I rub lotion on her growing pregnant woman parts, I tuck her in as early as possible every night (on her new memory-foam mattress-topper Santa got her for Christmas), I console her, when she's feels like her body has been taken over by an alien, I make her whatever food her body needs when she just can't eat anything, I do the dishes almost every night, I make her slow down when she's doing to much, I tell her how sexy and beautiful she is (because she really is, especially when she's pregnant), and I let her pregnant self do whatever she wants to do to feel good.
I think I'm a good dad, to all my children, born and unborn. And I think I'm a good husband...at least I really try. But I really can't do everything.
I guess the point of my posting today was partly to help myself feel better, but mostly to remind myself how much I love my wife and kids, and how I WILL be at next week's appointment, connecting with our little parasite, Heather, and our famous TV doctor.
11 comments:
matt-- sounds like you are doing an AMAZING job! many husbands could learn from you-- including mine! do you give lessons? i think i could handle nightly footrubs and the dishes being done every night. . .
i'm sure heather really appreciates all you do, and i bet she'll have already forgiven you for missing this appt by the time she trudges all the way home by HERSELF! :) just kidding!
Matt, you sound like you are doing an amazing job! Taking care of a family is hard (and wonderful) for everyone. Sadly, sometimes compromises have to be made. I cried when Jeremy missed our first ultrasound with Jacob and I was the only woman alone. But, he made the next one. I am sure that Heather knows you wished you were there with her, that seems to help for some reason.
And maybe, Heather appreciated the alone time! With kids running around all the time and just waiting for the baby to get out, it is nice sometimes to be all alone.
Y'all seem to be doing so well. Every once in a while I wish we were in New York. :) Especially when there seem to be no seasons here in Tucson.
Of course you're not a bad father! You're an amazing father and husband, which I think you already know. If you were really afraid of being a bad father then you would never put yourself out there for scorn. And as it turns out you have proven there is a reason our friends, the Bitters, call blogs "brags". It's a good place to let people know just how fabulous you are, or your family is, and not to make anyone out there jealous, but he really is that great! He's not exaggerating and I am spoiled. I try to remember and not take it for granted or take advantage. But maybe I do take advantage, just a little . . .:) Love you Matt!
BTW Cyndi, it was 60-something degrees here the other day. Is it January? So, don't be too jealous about the seasons, we're not sure which one we're in either.
Hi Matt & Heather!
not sure you remember me... it's JoEllen Hansen (Morris, now) from OHS days. I stumbled onto your blog from my buddy Meredith McK's and discovered you and we are expecting a baby on the same day! So I totally identify with all of that pregnant stuff.
Incidentally, your family and ours traded places... my husband Mark and I lived in the NYC area (Jersey City, worked in Manhattan) for 4 and 1/2 years. Next was Boston and now we live in TX (where I think you knew the McKinnons?) Anyway, Good luck to you with your new little one.
Hi JoEllen, I do remember you from OHS. How do you know Meredith?
I clicked over to your blog. Cute kids. Good luck with the new babs.
We'll post when the baby gets here!
Heather,
You look so freaking beautiful! I found Jaime's blog last week and was so happy to find yours. The kiddos are so cute, I can't wait to see the new addition. I hope we can stay in touch.
Amy
http://the4frickets.blogspot.com/
I'm relieved that you used the word parasite. I thought I was the only one. It's the truth no?
Good luck Heather!
Dear, dear Matt. You are a great father, and a wonderful husband to my favorite Heather Anna. Bless you!
Meredith & I became friends in Boston. Fun place to be and easy make lots of good friends. That's one thing you love about being in a city-close proximity means you see your buddies all the time! I hope you guys are enjoying it.
You are pretty tech-savvy, I didn't know you could look up blogs!
I'm getting induced Friday. Rather not be induced, but my husband travels and it's more important to me that he's there than that I go on my own. What about you?
MaTt you are doing an amazing job! I am sure Heather has told you.
i believe you are one of the best dads i know.
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