The Good, The Bad, and the Really Ugly

In my lonely state, with the wife and kids gone, what am I to do with my free time in this big city? Really, anything I want. NY offers an unlimited amount of entertainments, social experiences, and cultural events. The sky's the limit. And now that I have the time to soak it all in, what do I do with my free time? ............ go the movies.

Yes, I've been watching way too many movies over the last week or so. I've been able to do this, because I've had entire evenings or days free, and I love seeing movies in theaters. It's just not the same on the small screen. Also, the great thing about NY movie theaters, many of them are HUGE 25 screen, multi-storied theaters, perfect for doubling or tripling your experience. That's all I will say about that. Yes, I'm bad. But when you pay $12.75 for a ticket, I like to get my money's worth. And I don't mind sitting in a dark theater for 6-9 hours at a time. Before you judge me, remember, there are a lot worse things I could be doing here in the city while my wife's away. Right?

Here is a spackling of movies I've seen very recently - with grades. For the most part, the following are all typical Summer popcorn flicks with little substance, but there are a couple great ones as well. (note: some of them I only saw as time fillers until the next good movie)

• Wall-E - A
  Genius!

• Iron Man - A-
  Quality movie all-around
  

• Kung Fu Panda - B+
  Amazing animation

• Hancock - B
  Unique and fun, but hoping for a little more. Bateman is perfect.
  

• Indiana Jones - B
  Fun, with great visuals

• The Incredible Hulk - B
  Better than expected

• Wanted - B
  Too gory, but good

• Sex and the City - B-
  Too long

• Get Smart - B-
  Not terrible

• The Love Guru - C-
  Expected bafoonery

• The Happening - D-
  The Worst Movie in History!

I've Got the Fever!

I am going to publicly admit my love for...

"America's Next Top Model"

Last night was the "Cycle 10" premiere. Note, Tyra Banks produces a new season about every six months or so. At least it seems like it. 10 yrs. ago, Tyra was still just a successful model. Not media mogul, up-and-coming Oprah Jr.

My mother is staying with us, and subsequently sleeps in our living room. So unless she wore earplugs and averted her eyes, she was cornered into joining me and Heather in our shameful, contest-tv, "I shouldn't be watching this" addiction.

I have to say, I think it's going to be a good cycle this time 'round. This year, there are a lot of girls with a lot of spunk and "no you di'nt" attitutde.

A five-minute sampling of 'tude' highlights and wacky judge antics...

Minute 23: "Shut up, bitch! You're dead in my book!"
Minute 24: [Sobs. Hugs. Sobs. Hugs.] "I could never do nothin' like that. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Wahhh..."
Minute 25: "Bitch, if you touch me, you're gonna die!"
Minute 28: The judges pretend to drink a contestant's breast milk.

In order to increase the drama, the judges are always trying to "therapize" the models by having them release their past abuses, insecurities, and painful childhoods on national tv. I feel it's morally reprehensible, but........extremely entertaining and exploitative.

It usually takes me about 4-5 episodes before I can determine a winner. And I have been right multiple times. But this year, I am going out on a limb and proclaiming America's Next Top Model to be....

FATIMA

Fatima hails from motherland Africa, but has grown up in Boston. Her big breakdown story was the tribal female circumcision performed on her when she was a girl. And I admit, that is one of the worst I've heard. Also, it brings attention to that terrible global issue. Just as Heather, from Cycle 9, brought attention to Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism. But I don't think they will be bringing up her circumcision throughout the season. At least I hope they don't. It would be kind of awkward if they did.

Granted, in all 9 "cycles" of this show, they have never turned out a highly successful and recognizable model. But I believe that one day, Tyra will ultimately discover the next version of herself, Cindi, Naomi, Giselle, Heidi or Kate. And until that day happens, I will be in front of the TV, rooting on all those insecure, emaciated wannabes on their desperate attempt at success for doing nothing but being pretty.