Consistent Dedication

Well, it's official.....I'm an obsessive, inconsistent idiot. Why you may ask? Because I REALLY fell of the blogging wagon. I wanted to make writing/blogging/journaling/declaring/punditing/sharing a routine in my life. And what happens, I disappear for three months.

I am disappointed in myself once again. You can ask my wife, I often go through phases or obsessions. I go gung-ho, then fizzle away onto the next phase or obsession. I didn't want my blogging to be that.....at least the fizzle part. And it did. If I had a picture of me feeling like a schlumpy loser, in blogging fashion, I would put it

HERE

(schlumpy loser)

In order to remedy my loseriness (good word, huh), I'm going back on the wagon, and not in an obsessive way, but a naturally consistent and moderately habitual way......kind of like brushing your teeth. Looking back at my few short months of good blogging, I came to appreciate the power of recording. And what better way than blogging, in our digital age, is there to record who you are, junk and all, for your future self and posterity. The info will forever float in the blogosphere and won't be lost forever, say...... in a freak house fire or tornado.

I think this is important. I wish I knew what my father believed and felt about the world when he was a young father. Maybe I would discover that he also had an inconsistent, obsessive nature. Then I wouldn't feel so bad about myself......because I could blame him. And doesn't displacing the blame make everyone feel better about themselves? Then 20 yrs. from now, my son, Cole, will feel better about his crazy neurosis, because he can blame me......or choose to be better than me, and take responsibility for his own issues.

Hopefully, this public(albeit small) declaration will keep me motivated and accountable for consistent entries.

"Let it be written, Let it be done!"
- Yul Brynner in The Ten Commandments

Aiutami

Risk is everything
Without risk there is no drama
Without drama there is no "aiutami"
Without asking for help
No love, no love
- the Light in the Piazza -
Adam Guettel
2005

Aiutami!!!

That is the cry....."Help me!" in Italian. The passage is from one of the greatest musicals ever produced. These words have been in my head all day.

I'm sitting here at my job in the law firm, providing support for my family......gratefully. I'm sitting here at my day job in the law firm......longing to not be here. I'm sitting here at my job in the law firm......aching to feel creative.

Aiutami!!!

One of my fellow legal secretaries is out for the day. They placed a 'floater' in her stead. She 's knew. She's nice. She's a middle-aged, beautiful Greek woman named Evangelia. I didn't talk to her much of the morning as I stared blankly at my computer screen hoping to find a mental escape somewhere on the net.

Then she asked me, "So....are you an actor?"

"Yep", I responded flatly.
.
.
.
pause
.
.
.
"What makes you ask?", said my ego-driven, prodding self.

"It's because you have such great teeth.......nice smile......an actor's smile", she said.

"Thanks", I said perking up a bit.

Now she had my attention. I know it's terrible. But I needed something, today, to drag me out of my self-loathing doldrum.

After conversing for a while, I learned that she is an opera singer turned actress. Not only that, she has been on Broadway in three productions. Three of the greatest in the last 10 yrs. Baz Lurhmann's La Boheme, Coram Boy, and The Light in the Piazza.

In adoration, I showered her with questions about her experience in 'Piazza', how she got where she did, and what her future plans were. She said she has been very blessed, but has to pay the bills like everyone else. So, she took a 'floater' job at my law firm.

Aiutami!!!

The entire scenario made me very sad. Here is a beautiful, close-to-retirement, talented artist, that really 'made it' to the major leagues of our profession. And that profession dumped her out into the gutters of unemployment.

Yes, she now has a good job, completely unrelated to the theatre. And I'm sure she is grateful for it. But aren't there guarantees? Aren't there entitlements? Isn't she deserving of a life doing what she loves and is best at?

Aiutami!!!

I know I'm really just starting out on my journey, even 15 yrs. into it. But I pray that I will eventually be able to solely do what I am passionate about.

For now, in my pursuit, I am a slave to survival. And thank goodness....I am not content.

This is wanting something,

this is reaching for it,
This is wishing that a moment would arrive.
This is taking chances,
this is almost touching,
what the beauty is.
- the Light in the Piazza -
Adam Guettel
2005

Anthroponomastics, anyone...?

In continuation of my last post regarding the naming of our third child, I would like to explore the way names morph into completely different names.

I was given a name that screams for abbreviation - Matthew. I was mostly called Matt growing up. But I also got Matty, when I was young, and Mattress from my dad. Since I was about 19, I made a conscientious decision to be Matthew. The name my parents gave me. I liked it, in the way I like Matthew Broderick or McConaughay or Modine. Save Ferris! So for 12 yrs. I have introduced myself to new people as Matthew, but 90% of them immediately call me Matt, without permission. Interesting, huh? It doesn't bother me much, except that I try to call people by how they introduce themselves.

I call my wife, Heather, by her real name, and sometimes Heth(voiced 'th'), or Heathanna(combo of middle name).

I believe in naming children by what you will officially call them. For example, we named Margaret after my mother, with full intention of calling her Margaret - not Margie, Margot, Peggy, or any other incarnation. Guess what, people automatically call her Maggie. And even her 5-yr.-old self always introduces herself as Margaret. I do sometimes call her Mag-bum, or Mag-pie. And in our home, our son Cole is quite often referred to as Coley-bug.

But what about when a name takes on a life of its own and morphs into something completely different. Examples:

When she was younger, Heather was called:
Heather Anna Banana...then
Anne-Banan-Banoo...then just
Banoo.

Her brother, Shane was called:
Shaney-Mikey-Mook...then just
Mook

My niece, Alexis was/is called:
Lexi...then
Lexi-Lou...then
Lou...then just
Louie (see right)




WHAT ARE SOME MORPHED NAMES YOU POSSESS OR KNOW OF?

By the way, ANTHROPONOMASTICS is the study of proper human names.